|
|
|||
|
William Overgard Reviewed by: Purrsia  This is maybe Overgard at his finest. And by that, I mean at his weird worst. I almost made another "award" for this ep especially - maybe a Gyroscope Award, for woefully stupid engineering - but then that would require actual effort. So here's a scathing review instead! Lion-O, the kittens and Lynx-O are hanging out at the Tower of Omens when alarms blare in warning that a missile is headed for them. They would have been finished, having no time to react, but find the "missile" is an advertisement for one Bragg, the Bounty Hunter. Behind the ad is a flying train. Kat notes that it looks like a "Circus Train". The train lands, and out comes the colorful ringmaster of sorts, Captain Bragg - the bounty hunter - and his avian companion, Crownan. Bragg bellows through a megaphone that for a modest fee, he'll rid Third Earth of any "undesirables". He promises that he'd capture them and exile them to Way Out Back. Oh, and he'll throw in a little bottle of invisible oil, too. Lion-O is unimpressed, pegging Bragg as little more than a petty con man full of hot air. Kat is less quick to catch on and goes down to "check him out". Kit doesn't even care to investigate Bragg and his circus, so Kat's on his own. Kat resists Bragg's pitch on the oil at first, letting him know Lion-O's opinion. Acting deeply offended, Bragg tells Kat to look deep into his eyes and it seems to hypnotize Kat. Now, when Bragg drinks the oil, Kat sees that it "works". Then, Bragg asks about the whereabouts of the Lunataks and Mutants. Kat is willing to show Bragg where to find them, so they take off in the train. When the train takes off, Kit observes Kat is aboard and becomes quite alarmed. Meanwhile, Kat is telling Bragg to go to Castle Plundarr to nab the Mutants. They land near the Castle, where Monkian and Jackalman are out wandering around. When the Mutants go to investigate the train, Bragg intices them into one of the cars by promising an attractive female mutant awaits them inside. The moronic mutants fall for the trap. Vultureman had watched the whole scene unfold and is actually amazed the two could be that stupid. And he's supposed to be the genius in the lot! Vultureman immediately guesses that Bragg must be a bounty hunter and suggests to Slithe that they lay low. But does Slithe listen? Nope. He drags Vultureman out of the Castle as he wants to see Merna for himself (uh, duh - Vman just established that's a TRAP, dumbass) and also free his friends. When they arrive, Slithe strongarms Bragg and demands to see Merna. When Bragg won't cooperate, he tosses him into the same cell with Monkian and Jackalman. WilyKat sees this all go down from the engine of the train, and unfortunately, Slithe spots him. Just as Vultureman and Slithe start to climb up the side of one of the cars, WilyKat hits the "emergency" button causing the train to take off quickly. The mutants hang on for life while Kat tries to figure out how to control that crazy thing. He figures hitting the "CTW" button will work, guessing the acronymn stands for "control train wobble". Upon doing so, the train halts and begins to whip back and forth as Bragg explains to his cellmates that CTW really stands for "Crack the Whip". Kinky. Kat then tries to fix things by hitting the CU button, hoping it means "Straighten Up". He was partly right, but given that it meant "straight up", they're heading straight for outter space. Bragg worries he'll hit the one "worse" button. So guess what Kat does? (and why do I get flashes of a Looney Toons show with Daffy Duck screeching, "No, no, not the red one! Don't ever push the red one!") Kat musta swallowed a bottle of stupid pills because instead of figuring out logically what the SD button would do, he thinks it would mean "stop, delay". Um, try "straight down", dumbass. They're on a collision course with the earth so naturally Kat does the sensible thing and closes his eyes hoping to randomly select the right button. And he does, for BASH means "Brakes and Stop Hover". Yay. The sudden stop sends Slithe and Vultureman hurtling off the train, and Vultureman whips out a ...pen to save them. A pen that can turn into an umbrella, which inspires some Wile E. Coyote flies off a cliff flashbacks. Especially when the umbrella breaks and they have a not-so-soft landing. Kat lands the train and lets Bragg out of the cage so that Crownan can promptly hypnotize him again. They then order him to load up the two fallen mutants before they head off to round up the Lunies. The Lunies are on Dark Side trying to fix Skytomb, when Bragg's train lands. Luna sends out Tug Mug and Red Eye to check it out. Bragg is playing an organ as they arrive, the pipes of which suddenly extend and hit the duo with some sort of sleeping gas. The pair of Lunies are then chucked into a cage. Chilla notices they're gone, so Luna sends Alluro to find out what happened. When he arrives, Kat is made up like a clown and sitting on Bragg's lap (file this under the ew brand of kink!), pretending to be a ventriliquist's dummy. Kat has the dummy part down, me thinks! Alluro is so amazed that Bragg's lips don't move, that Kat is able to slap handcuffs on him. Oh man, that totally has to piss off Alluro fans! Chilla, now worried that Alluro may need help, is the next to depart for the train. Bragg has a polar bear to amuse her with. She's skeptical that the bear is real, and Bragg challenges her to step up and pet the tame polar bear to see for herself. When she does, the bear grabs her and she is caught. Luna and Amok, however, get the jump on Bragg, and once again the bounty hunter finds himself locked in his own train. Once again, Kat sees the peril and decides that the invisible oil will allow him to release Bragg undetected. That'd be swell if the stuff actually worked! Amok simply tosses Kat in with Bragg and Kat finally realizes the truth about Bragg being a lying sack of doodie. Meanwhile, Kit and Lion-O have been out searching for the train and Kat. Finding one of Bragg's wanted posters for the Lunies, the pair decide to check out Dark Side. Luna has already released her friends but kept the Mutants locked up. They also strapped Kat to the nose of the engine so that when they attack the Thundercats with the Circus Train, they can't fight back without risk to Kat. Lion-O dismounts the Thunderclaw and makes his way atop the train to try to find Kat. The Lunies try to stop him, but if he wasn't making short work of them, they were fighting among themselves too much anyway. With the Lunies no longer a threat, Lion-O hears Kat's cries for help. But just as he runs to help, Amok's tail hits the SD button sending the train plunging to earth. Lion-O saves them with the Sword, calling the signal forth and having it crash into the engine compartment to hit the BASH button. Ugh. Upon landing, Bragg agrees to turn over a new leaf and apologies for hypnotizing Kat. He claims he'll take good care of the Lunies and Mutants and even teach them table manners and a skill. Lion-O warns they will check in on him from time to time before he takes off. Wow, what a crappy way to write out the main bad guys save for Mumm-Ra. It hurts. It burns. And pass me that brain scrubber, eh? Monkian: "Where's Merna?" Crownan: "In your dreams, banana breath." Vultureman: "Did you see that? Those two idiots walked right into a cage!" Slithe: "Well, Monkian and Jackalman were never too bright." "Did you see that? A Thunderbrat!" - Slithe. comment system disabled temporarily thanks to spam happy assholes!
|
|
The Show
