2. You've been trolling a message board under an alias, and someone you highly dislike posts something particularly lame...what do you do?
Laugh insincerly along with them, and vaguely agree...what, do you want me to blow my cover before I get what I'm after?
Reply, hinting that you know of a great way for the lamer to take their mind off things, so concerned are you for their well being. Sucker.
Add to the adorable rep you have under that alias and say something clever in reply...gotta get your enemies feeling totally comfortable with you before you pounce.
Make a post that's a borderline flame and hope everyone's too dumb to see right through it. And given the intellegence around here, it's quite possible you'll survive the near-breach unscathed. Idiots.
Start a new thread, making nearly the exact same post so that when you get flamed you have an excuse to rip into everyone *and* cry hypocrit to the board mod.
Put up a cool flash pic that seems innocent enough...until they click on a link and it leads to a super-pervy, pop-up ridden porn site that's sure to crash their browser hehehehe. You'll seem aghast and play stupid when the complaints roll in, of course.
These bastards banned me, and I just spent hours hacking into the account of one of the mods -- revenge is within reach :: evil cackling :: They're gonna be sorry they ever messed with me.
I was just sticking around long enough for them to make a jackass of themselves...I make a quick post as myself mocking their stupidity and leave with a smirk on my face.
I make a huge post, not only mocking their lame ass post, but attaching a list of grievences I have against them and links to just about every embarrassing or asinine moment they've ever had online. And all under the banner of my regular name -- I want you to know who owns ya, baby.

3. What's the biggest tip-off that you're being insincere?
My cackling laughter. When you're as maniacal as I am, it's hard to suppress that sort of thing.
I tend not to let things go and push and push until I get the desired reaction.
I slather on the witticisms and flattery to the point where it's almost overkill.
I come to the rescue of a member of my enemy's clique, but don't put up quite enough protest when they blindly take me into the fold.
My imitations are not flattering, and it's pretty obvious I'm being more mocking than anything.
My fangs show and my eyes glow at inappropriate times.
I play the guilt card to the hilt; if my disguise alone won't trick them, making them feel massive pity for me will!
I'm pretty blunt about it, actually...sometimes I throw in a few weak bolts of purple lightning just to further illustrate my point.
Ha, I lay on the sarcasm and chide my enemies so boldly, there's no doubt where I'm coming from!

4. You get busted by the cops for speeding and can't afford to pay another ticket. What do you do to try to get out of it?
Play up the confidence factor and be as straight forward as possible. Then he might believe you if you say you don't have your license on you. Then the road is clear to give him any name but your own.
Size him up, and if he seems like the type that likes to party when he's not enforcing the law, hint around at what a good time the two of you could have when he's off work.
Try to seem as friendly as possible, and then when the officer responds to your precociousness, try to gain his sympathy by formulating an elaborate excuse for your speed.
Ha, you still have your sibling's ID on you from when you used it last night to buy a six pack. You look enough alike to assume their identidy...hell you may even have them take the rap for you AND pay the ticket. An evil smile curls upon your lips...
You get indignant while flahsing your wallet, which holds a replica badge you bought off ebay for just such an occasion. You toss out police jargon and mutter about being on official business, while cursing rookies and such.
You start the waterworks, and lean far enough forward in your seat so the cop gets a *real* nice view. When he lets you off with a warning and walks away, you cackle like a fiend.
You pretend you're injured and were on your way to the hospital. He offers to escort you there, but once the two of you get going again, you lose the idiot in rush hour traffic...mwahahahahaha!
You're already beat from dealing with all the assholes at work or school and don't have the energy for this one...you begrudgingly take the ticket, but make sure the cop knows you're not happy by being as nasty as possible to him.
As he gets out of his cruiser, lean out your window and scream "Catch me if you can, pig!" then squeal off, leading him on a high speed chase. Fuck it, if you're going down, it might as well be for something worthwhile.

5. Some anonymous asshat sends you flame mail. How do you respond?
Reply, alluding cryptically that you know a hacker (actually your alter ego) that will destroy their computer with a hideous virus if they ever flame you again.
Tell them you know crack addicts with a better life than they've got.
Bowl them over with a witty point by point retort.
Figure out who they are and where they hang out on the web, then use a thinly veiled alias to harrass them.
Mail bomb them with the same piece of flame mail, so you can laugh as their mail server does a crash and burn.
Reply, saying how their mail made you see the light about yourself and extend an olive branch. Then, when they least expend it, you whip them mercilessly with the same branch.
Convince them they sent the flame to the wrong email address, but you agreed with the sentiment and want to gang up on the loser the original flame was meant for. Keep the charade up long enough to exact juicy revenge.
Reply with a dismissive email of your own, letting the flamer know he needs to get a life. Really, dumbasses like that aren't worth investing much energy in.
Go all out, MSTing the mail and passing it on to your friends to mock at will. Then post it all on your flame mail/rants page. Public and brutal humiliation is the only way to go!

6. How would you describe your appearance and presentation?
Tall, dark and with a cool, seductive voice -- there's something vaguely sinister about your appearance, so it wouldn't come as a total shock to anyone who witnesses what you're capable of.
Very earthy, with a lilting care-free laugh. Your voice is like honey, and it soothes your victims into thinking everything will be fine.
Though small of stature, you seem so outgoing and likable on the surface. Little do your enemies realize you've got diabolical plans for them behind your twinkling eyes.
Even though you hate everything your enemies stand for, you often look and dress exactly like them. Whatever helps you get to them and break their spirit works for you. You don't care about your identidy as much as you care about destroying theirs, and it's painfully obvious -- even to your enemies if they're paying attention.
You fall right into the look of the moment, imitating current fashion and slang...you find it helps you to fight against your enemies to have lived like them. Know thy enemy to destroy thy enemy!
You're so feminine and petite, your tinny voice as soft as a mewing kitten. Underneath, you're a hissing badger, just waiting until you've got your victim where you want them.
You seem cuddly and friendly upon first glance. In fact, you seem like an old trusted friend of your enemy...until you reveal your true self and ATTACK!
You're lanky and weak, scoffing about in the shadows. You step out to cuff upstarts along side the head on occassion, but otherwise you're as harmless as a crotchety old man grousing about the good old days.
You're buff, cutting an imposing figure. People know exactly what they're dealing with when they meet up with you, and boy do you have issues. And if your enemies don't find your sheer blunt force honesty brutal enough, they'll be awed by the tenacity with which you persue your enemies until they fall at your feet.

7. What music do you listen to?
I like to say I'm into goth, but what I really like is 80s metal...admitting it would clash with my facade, however.
Trance...it sets the mood for what I like to do.
Oldies.
Classic Rock, only because it makes me less assuming.
Everything...I have to be able to fall into any guise believably afterall.
Bubble gum and boy bands. They're about as genuine as I am though, heh heh.
Electronica.
Cryptic classical shit...it sets the mood for my evil work.
Hardcore speedmetal...a lovely soundtrack as I lay waste to my enemies.

8. What's your enemy's response when the truth about you is revealed?
They're stunned...nobody, not even their most paranoid watch dogs knew it was you until it was too late. Damn you're good.
They don't let a revelation like that ruin their vibe, ya dig? You keep them well supplied with what they want, and honestly they care very little who you want them to sell out to keep you around.
They're shocked that such a likable little squirt like yourself could turn so viscious so quickly -- they feel like they've had their throat ripped out by a terrier.
But...but...you were one of us! How could you betray us??
By running away frightened...they were no match for your expert mockery skills and unethical tactics.
By staring into space dumbfounded, before snapping out of it at the last minute -- long enough to realize they're doomed.
They got no steenking reaction...they're robots, completely under my control, MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!
They're not too shocked...they've come to expect that kind of behavior out of you.
Hell, they always knew you was a ruthless bastard, but when you really get going, even your oldest enemies step back and do a double take.

9. What's your wicked specialty?
Zapping people to a far off place where they can't annoy me anymore.
Getting my enemies so stoned, they're less of a threat and just plain amusing.
Helping my enemies bring calamity down on themselves.
Infiltrating the enemy camp.
Making the enemy feel as if they're fighting with themselves.
Luring an enemy to their doom with false cries of distress.
Making the enemy feel sorry for me so they take me in.
Wry cracks and obvious disdain, expressed sparingly.
Cracking open a can of 100% whup ass and force feeding my enemies the contents.

10. Who would you choose as an evil accomplice?
Queen Tartara
Captain Bragg, before he was reformed
Slithe
Grune
The Enflamer
Tashe
Ma-Mutt
The ASOE
Nobody, fool. I kick ass alone!